People
chat noisily like knives and forks over a dinner, toaster mimics the click-clack
of female heels, nauseating smell of Apple Cinnamon muffins injects childhood
nostalgia in customers, a braided hair barista calls, almost poetically, for
the drinks to-be picked up, spices of Chicken soup prime the customers for an
early lunch, and wordless music drifts dissonantly in the café. Sitting here,
he feels he is a part of some surreal world, like the one he visualized upon
reading some New X-men comics here, over winter break. Comics to scientific
research. Somebody said change is always painful but he has never been told
that change is irritating too.
Bringing
the paper cup to his dried lips, he leans on the black desk, staring down at
the yellow post-it over the stack of white papers, many versions of his
research manuscript. The post-it reads: revise
discussion of the manuscript. He notices his handwriting resemble a curse. Even
Organic Sumatra coffee, which has helped in past, isn’t helping. He puts the
paper cup down, next to his laptop. Then, he peels the post-it off, stares at
it and pastes it on the top right side of his laptop, as a constant reminder.
Moments later, he saves a 2003-2007 Microsoft word
document on the desktop with the title, “Discussion of the Manuscript.” He just
wants to get done with this revision but his fingers, inert on keypad, seem to
not listening. He looks down at the alphabet G and H, which looks back at him,
with same disdain.
“For
a good discussion, you need good understanding of your results. And for good understanding,
you need to question yourself.” He retreats to his mentor words. In search of
those questions, he looks up. A toddler appeared in his mother’s arms. The
toddler’s mother carefully sits on one of the black chair in front of him. In
his mother’s lap, the toddler faces him. He smiles when he spots the toddler’s
X-men mutant shirt. His mother acknowledges the smile without knowing the
reason but the toddler stares hard at him, as if knows everything.
Are
the toddler’s parents fan of superhero comic books or they belongs to general
public grown on the diet of movie modified superheroes? He wonders. What these
questions have to do with his scientific discussion? He doesn’t have answer to
this question but he is still elated: at least he started asking questions.
Soon he will get over this comic book sleep-over, he expects. No feeling stayed
with him for forever even though he wants some feelings to stay.
*
As
he mulls over the abstract of his manuscript, his hyperactive neurons start
typing thoughts in his mind with ink of caffeine. The mutant virus was deleted with the first and most important gene. So
the virus cannot synthesize early proteins, encoded by this first gene,
important for early gene expression, viral replication, and switch to late gene
expression, all important processes for the viral life cycle. Hence the mutant
virus cannot complete its viral life cycle. Will the mutant virus be able to
complete the viral life cycle if the similar gene is supplemented from a mutant
from a related virus?
Just
when his fingers touch the keypad, the toddler with X-men mutant shirt let out
a sudden shriek, breaking the chain of his scientific thoughts. The toddler’s
head shakes violently and his blonde hairs irregularly reflect the whitish
yellow light of the café. Continuously crying, the toddler points finger at the
counter. Passing the crying toddler to his father, her mother reaches for the
counter. By this time, the café crowd fixes their eyes on the toddler and his
parents. If observe closely, one could observe glistening in those eyes. A
faint awww reverberates in the café like a whisper full of longing.
The
angry toddler resembles to a violent X-men mutant eager to joins the avengers.
He observes. What the toddler wants to avenge? To answer this question, he must
know what kind of mutant the toddler is. After much contemplation, he names the
crying toddler in the café, KID2.0, a superhero mutant. In terms of superpower,
he grants KID2.0 a distinct superpower: superpower of crying. To be a superhero,
only superpower is not enough. KID2.0 needs to ascend the insurmountable
problems, fight deadly villains, and face his interior demons and for all this,
he needs to provide a back story. He finds one of biggest demons for KID2.0 is the
lack of the maternal unconditional love. He tries to understand the mutant with
back to back questions.
*
Will
he come home crying after being bruised in a fight? Will he hide his pain from
his parents? Will his idealistic parents only find fault in him? Will he ever
be loved in his life?
If
answer is no, what will he think about love. Will he laugh at people being
madly in love? Will he handle love like a flirt or like a person with split
personality disorder?
Will
he work hard to attain the missing love? Will he be loved even after working
hard? What will become of him if someone doesn’t love him? Will he work even
harder? Will he deal the lack of love by crying?
What
will happen if someone really loves him?
If
answer is yes, then how he will deal with love? Will he like the only people
who love him? Will he suffer from questions like why people love him? Will he
think they still love him even when they find out what un-loveable person
hiding underneath him? Will there be people to help him when he suddenly starts
crying?
Will
he ask help from others? What kind of people he will ask help from? Will he
meet helping people or people with necessary lessons? Will he start trusting everybody if he meets
the former? Will he create more imaginary friends if he meets the latter? Will
these fictitious entities help him resolve his problems? Will he resorts back
to crying?
Will
he complain that the lack of unconditional love is responsible for his
defective life? Will he blame his mother for his problems? Will he ever find
everybody has their problems? Will he find his current critical thinking is
actually the result of his mother’s sacrifices? Will he absorb the lessons from
his life only after crying?
When
will he be happy with life? When will he think life in terms of symbiotic
relationships? When will he find another mutant which complements his defects
and allow him to grow? When will he stop living the incomplete life? When will
he became aware that every superpower comes with an equally potent curse: the
superpower of Crying could be responsible for making him who he is?
*
By
the time, he finishes typing unnecessary scientific words on his word document,
the toddler has calmed down. Maybe that’s why he stopped, he thinks. Wondering
over his creativity yet frustrated with his scientific productivity, he stretches
his legs underneath the table, brings his hands behind his head, falls back on
the chair and looks up at the blackness of the café ceilings. Gazing at the
unending bleak blackness for some time, he thinks of deleting this comic book
seep-over. Then with a deep breath, he returns to his typing posture and
re-names the word document as “A Story of a Mutant.”
He
picks up the paper cup. The couple of cold drops of coffee spread over his
tongue. He gets up from his seat. He rounds the chair with mother and the
toddler to reach the braided hair barista girl, who is counting tips. He asks
for 16 oz of Organic Sumatra and swipes his card. He looks back as he waits for
the coffee. Sitting in his mother’s lap, the toddler is playing with ground
version of Apple and Cinnamon cupcake on the black table. He observes the
toddler closely. The mother patiently, calmly and repeatedly cleans the
toddler’s hands, simultaneously conversing with her husband. Whenever the
mother tries to keep the toddler away from the ground cupcake, the toddler
opens his mouth in what could be a shriek. “Isn’t he really cute?” the barista
girl says to him, as she passes the coffee cup. He nods but doesn’t stretch his
lips in a full smile. The mother kisses the toddler on cheeks and the father
ruffles the toddler’s blonde hairs. Seeing all this, he returns to his seat.
With
the burned tongue, he starts to find answer to the question: why he wrote a
story instead of discussion? The post-it stuck at the rim of his laptop monitor
teases him about his scientific progress. No feeling is constant; only change
is. Thinking such, his fingers touch the keypad in hope to type something
scientific.
Author Bio:
Anand
Prakash is a graduate student working toward a microbiology degree. In free
time, he wonders about existential issues. His recent works have appeared or
forthcoming in z-composition, Crack the Spine, and Liebamour. His writings can
be found at http://gradstudentwriter.blogspot.com/.
Beautiful and deeply thoughtful, a jewel. I immediately want to read more.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dan. Encouraging words from a published novelist push me to write more and better experimental fiction. Thanks for your generosity.
DeleteLooking forward to reading your fiction on Fictitious magazine.
regards
anand prakash
ohooooooo my god............ first time I am reading the story written by a childhood friend of mine........... its great... I have no words to explain my feelings........... go...go..go... I will wait for next one.......
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear friend. In my humble opinion, childhood memories play a remarkably strong role in whatever you become and whatever you do in life. so thanks for providing those memories; i relish each and every memory.
Delete